Well, so much for finding myself. My world has repeatedly been torn apart. It's been forever since I've been this depressed. It's been about that long since I let other people trample my boundaries and allowed them free-rein destroying my life (and my heart).

I'd say I want to kill myself, but I suppose someone would assume I was just being a copy cat. Lord knows, I don't want to be accused of being unoriginal. Besides, be it curse or blessing, there's a survival instinct in me that would never let me succumb to such a level of stupidity. But, damn, there are moments when I wish I didn't have to be the grown up all the f*ck'g time.

Well, it' time for me to figure out how to get back to me again. Right now, ME seems to be an unattainable destination.

I sure hope that most of you were able to enjoy your Christmas and New Year's. I guarantee you this is the last year I'll waste believing in Santa Claus. And, too bad about the Grinches in my life. Doesn't look like any of them had hearts that grew three times their size.

Onward, ever onward. One step at time . . . somehow I'll make it through the evil forest, past the wicked witch and her flying monkeys and find my home again.

To quote lots of football fans, there's always next year. HA!